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Improve Your Relationships Through Estate Planning

Do you have a New Year’s resolution? How about Estate Planning? Believe it or not, it can improve your relationships!

During the holidays, you’ve probably spent a lot of time with your family and friends. During these moments, you realize just how important these relationships can be. And as we grow older, you begin to realize how precious little time we have to spend with one another.

Life is short. So use this time to talk about estate planning so that you can ensure that you and your loved ones are provided and cared for no matter what happens. Though death and incapacity can be uncomfortable subjects to discuss, with a comprehensive plan in place, you’ll almost certainly experience a huge sense of relief and peace.

Planning requires you to closely consider your relationships with family and friends—past, present, and future—like never before. This process can be the ultimate forum for heartfelt communication and prioritizing what matters most in life.

Indeed, communicating clearly about what you want to happen in the event of your incapacity or death (and asking your loved ones what they want to happen) can foster a deeper bond and sense of intimacy than just about anything else you can do.

Here are just a few of the valuable ways estate planning can improve the relationships you cherish most:

1) Estate planning shows that you really care.

Taking the time and effort to carefully plan for what will happen to you in the event of your incapacity or when you die is a genuine demonstration of your love. It would be far easier to do nothing and simply let you family and friends figure it out for themselves. After all, you won’t be around to deal with any of the fallout.

But planning in advance shows that you truly care about the welfare of your loved ones, even when you’re no longer around to benefit from their love and companionship. Such selfless concern and forethought equates to nothing less than a final expression of your unconditional love.

2) Estate Planning inspires honest communication about difficult issues.

Sitting down and having an honest discussion about life’s most taboo subjects—incapacity and death—is almost certain to bring you and your loved ones closer. By forcing you to face immortality together, planning has a way of highlighting what’s really important in life—and what’s not.

In fact, our clients consistently share that after going through our estate planning process they feel more connected to the people they love the most. And they also feel more clear about the lives they want to live during the short time we have here on Earth.

Planning offers the opportunity to talk openly about matters you may not have even considered. When it comes to choices about distributing assets and naming executors and trustees, you’ll have a chance to engage in frank discussions about the reasons for your choices.

While this can be uncomfortable, clearly communicating your feelings and intentions is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. In the end, it might just be the first step in actively addressing and healing any problems that may be lurking under the surface of your relationships.

3) Estate Planning builds a deep sense of trust and respect.

Whether it’s the individuals you name as your children’s legal guardians or those you nominate to handle your own end-of-life care, estate planning shows your loved ones just how much you trust and admire them. What greater honor can you bestow upon another than putting your own life and those of your children in their hands?

Though it’s often challenging to verbally express how much you love your family and friends, estate planning demonstrates your affection in a truly tangible way. And once these people see exactly how much you value them, it can foster a deepening of your relationship with one another.

4) Estate Planning creates a lasting legacy

While estate planning is primarily viewed as a way to pass on your financial wealth and property, it can offer your loved ones much more than just financial security. When done right, it lets you hand down the most precious assets of all—your life stories, lessons, and values.

In fact, the wisdom and experience you’ve gained during your lifetime are among the most treasured gifts you can give. Left to chance, these gifts are likely to be lost forever. In light of this, we’ve built in a process, known as Family Wealth Legacy Passages, for preserving and passing on these intangible assets.

With this service, which is included in every estate plan we create, we guide you to create a customized recording in which you share your most insightful memories and experiences with those you’re leaving behind. Family Wealth Legacy Passages can not only ensure you’re able to say everything that needs to be said, but that your legacy carries on long after you—and your money—are gone.

The heart of the matter

We can help guide and support you in having these intimate discussions with your loved ones. And as our Family Wealth Legacy Passages service shows, we offer a wide-array of customized planning options designed to enrich your family and friends with far more than just material wealth.

With our help, estate planning planning doesn’t have to be a dreary affair. When done right, it can put your life and relationships into a much clearer focus and ultimately be a tremendously uplifting experience for everyone involved.

This article is a service of attorney Myrna Serrano Setty. Myrna doesn’t just draft documents. Myrna helps you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That’s why our firm offers a Planning Session,  during which you will get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before, and make all the best choices for the people you love. Call our office today at (813) 514-2946 to schedule a  Planning Session and mention this article to find out how to get this $500 session for free.

Use Estate Planning to Enrich Your Family With More Than Just Material Wealth

In the weeks before her death from ovarian cancer, author Amy Krouse Rosenthal gave her husband one of the most treasured gifts a person could receive.

She penned the touching essay “You May Want to Marry My Husband” in the New York Times as a final love letter to him. The essay took the form of a heart-wrenching yet-humorous dating profile that encouraged him to begin dating again once she was gone. In her opening description of Jason, she writes:

“He is an easy man to fall in love with. I did it in one day.”

What followed was an intimate list of attributes and anecdotes, highlighting what she loved most about Jason. It reads like a love story, encompassing 26 years of marriage, three grown children, and a bond that will last forever. She finished the essay on Valentine’s Day, concluding with:

“The most genuine, non-vase-oriented gift I can hope for is that the right person reads this, finds Jason, and another love story begins.” Just 10 days after the essay was published in March 2017, Amy died at age 51.

Finding meaning again

Amy’s essay immediately went viral, and Jason received countless letters from women across the globe. Although he has yet to begin a new relationship, Jason said the outpouring of letters gave him “solace and even laughter” in the darkest days following his wife’s death.

Just over a year later, Jason wrote his own essay for the Times, “My Wife Said You May Want to Marry Me,” in which he expressed how grateful he was for Amy’s words and recounted the lessons he’d learned about loss and grief since her passing. He said his wife’s parting gift “continues to open doors for me, to affect my choices, to send me off into the world to make the most of it.” Jason has since given a TED Talk on his grieving process in hopes of helping others deal with loss, something he said he never would’ve done without Amy’s motivation.

Toward the end of his essay, Jason gave readers a bit of advice for how they can provide their loved ones with a similar gift:

“Talk with your mate, your children, and other loved ones about what you want for them when you are gone,” he wrote. “By doing this, you give them liberty to live a full life and eventually find meaning again.”

Preserving your intangible assets

This moving story highlights what could be the most  valuable, yet often-overlooked aspect of estate planning. Planning isn’t just about preserving and passing on your financial wealth and property in the event of your death or incapacity. When done right, it equates to sharing your family’s stories, values, life lessons, and experiences, so your legacy carries on long after you (and your money) are gone.

Indeed, as the Rosenthals demonstrate, these intangible assets can be among the most profound gifts you can give. Of course, not everyone has the talent or time to write a similarly moving essay or have it published in the New York Times, nor is that necessary.

We recognize the enormous value these assets represent, along with the inherent challenge of documenting our life experiences. Given this, in our estate plans, we’ve built in a process, known as Family Wealth Legacy Passages, for preserving and passing on your unique treasures and gifts.

Family Wealth Legacy Passages

Our Family Wealth Legacy Passages (included in all of our estate plans) guide you to create a customized recording in which you share your most insightful memories and life lessons with those you leave behind. We’ve developed a series of helpful questions and prompts to make the process of sharing your life experiences not only easy, but enjoyable. And this isn’t something you have to do on your own—which you know you wouldn’t get around to—as we do it with you as an integral part of your planning services.

In the end, your family’s most precious wealth is not money, but the memories you make, the values you instill, and the lessons you hand down. And left to chance, these assets are likely to be lost forever.

If you want to pass down a truly meaningful legacy, one that can provide the kind of inspiration Amy’s letter did for Jason, contact our firm. Our customized estate planning services will preserve and pass on not only your financial wealth, but your most treasured family values as well. Start by scheduling a Planning Session, where we’ll discuss what kind of assets you have, what matters most to you and what you want to leave behind.

Guardianship: Keeping Up With the Kardashians

You might not be a big fan of this famous family, but the Kardashians recently demonstrated impressive wisdom in protecting their minor children using estate planning.

During a recent episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Khloé Kardashian was preparing to give birth to her first child, daughter True. Khloé was second-guessing her first choice to name her sister Kourtney as the child’s legal guardian in case anything ever happened to her or the baby’s father.

During her pregnancy, Khloé spent a lot of time with her other sister Kim and her family. Watching her interacting with her own kids, Khloé really connected with Kim’s mothering style and pondered if she might be a better choice as guardian.

“I always thought Kourtney would be the godparent of my child, but lately I’ve been watching Kim, and she’s been someone I really gravitate to as a mom,” Khloé said.

To make things more challenging, Kourtney always assumed she’d be named guardian and said as much. Over the years, Khloé had lots of fun times with Kourtney and her family. So Kourtney thought her own passion for motherhood would make her the natural choice.

For guidance, Khloé asked her mother, Kris Jenner, how she chose her kids’ guardians. Kris’ answer was to compare how her two sisters’ raised their own children.

“You just have to think,” Kris told her, “‘Where would I want my child raised, in which environment? Who would I feel like my baby is going to be most comfortable and most loved?’”

In the end, Khloé chose Kim over Kourtney. She explained her decision had nothing to do with her respect or love of Kourtney. But it was merely about which style of parenting she felt most comfortable with.

“Watching Kim be a mom, I really respect her parenting skills—not that I don’t respect Kourtney’s, I just relate to how Kim parents more,” said Khloé. “I just have to make the best decision for my daughter.”

Lessons learned

Khloé’s actions are admirable for several reasons. First off, far too many parents never get around to legally naming a guardian to care for their children in the event of their death or incapacity. Khloé not only made her choice, but she did so before the child was even born.

Khloé also took the time to speak and spend time with her sisters beforehand, so the family understood the rationale behind her decision. Khloé was lucky her choices were close family members, so she had ample opportunity to experience both of their parenting styles.

Depending on your life situation, you might not be able to spend that much time vetting your choice. But at the very least, you should sit down with each of your top candidates to openly and intimately discuss what you’d expect of them as your child’s new parents.

Avoid conflict and court

Furthermore, with multiple family members vying for the guardian role, Khloé’s quick action may have prevented a potential nightmare. If she’d delayed naming a guardian and something happened to her, Kourtney, Kim, and even other family members could’ve gone to court seeking guardianship of her daughter.

This could have led to years of contentious legal battles that not only cost the family huge sums of money, but the potential hardship imposed on the children can be incalculable. Even if you think something like this would never happen to your family, why take the risk, especially when it’s so easy to avoid?

Get started now

While the Kardashians are rich and famous, you too can provide the exact same level of protection for your kids, even with minimal financial resources. It’s important as soon as it’s physically possible to choose someone who will step in to raise your children if you cannot. You must also legally document your choice and make sure the individual you’ve selected knows what to do if they’re called upon.

Many parents have no idea how to go about making this critical decision, much less create a legally binding plan, so they never get around to doing it. And even parents who have legally named a guardian (even with a lawyer’s help) often make at least one of six common mistakes that leave their children at risk.

That’s because most lawyers aren’t aware of all that’s involved with planning for the well-being and care of minor children after their parents’ death or incapacity. But at Myrna Serrano Setty, P.A., we’re dedicated to legal planning for the unique needs of families with young children.

And if you’ve already named guardians on your own or with a lawyer, we can review your existing legal documents. We’ll determine whether you’ve made any of the six common mistakes that leave your kids vulnerable and help you fill those gaps.

Beyond naming legal guardians,  can create a comprehensive estate plan with all of the necessary legal documents to ensure the protection and well-being of your entire family and assets, no matter what happens. Contact us now.

 

Talking to Your Kids About School Violence

 

 

 

 

On February 14, 2018, there was another mass shooting at a school, this time in Parkland, Florida. Our thoughts and prayers are with the families devastated by this tragedy. As we struggle to cope with this tragedy, we need to figure out how to talk about this with our kids. Parents can help their kids feel safe (or safer) by establishing a sense of normalcy and security and by talking to them about their fears. At some point, our kids are going to learn about what happened, and we need to be prepared to talk about it.

How do we do that? Here are some tips:

1.     Observe your child’s emotional state. Sometimes it takes a while for anxiety and depression to manifest itself. You know your child better than anyone. And don’t be afraid to seek professional help. 

2.     Make time to talk. Let your child’s questions guide you in how much information to provide. Sometimes it takes a while for them to express their feelings.

3.     Validate their feelings. Let them talk about their fears.

4.     Keep your explanations developmentally appropriate. For example, kids in early elementary need brief, simple information balanced with assurance that school personnel are there to protect them. Give simple reminders of school safety, like reminding them about school safety drills and locked doors.

5.     Review safety procedures at home and at school. This is a good chance to also review your family’s emergency procedures. For example, if something happened to you, who would the school contact? Who would have the legal authority to take care of your kids? What happens if you don’t live near family?

6.     Limit television viewing. We live in an era of the 24-hour news cycle. This can be overwhelming, even for adults.

7.     Explain that there’s a difference between reporting, tattling and gossiping. Encourage kids to talk to a trusted adult if they see or hear about something that may harm others.

8.     Explain that while there is no absolute guarantee that nothing bad will ever happen, you will try your best to keep them safe because you love them more than anything in this world.

This article is a service of attorney Myrna Serrano Setty, who does more than just draft documents. She guides families through difficult topics, like estate planning, so they can protect what matters most. Myrna may be reached at (813) 514-2946 and info@serranosetty.com.